Unfinished Things

There are things
I haven't made yet
I need to say that first
There are things
I haven't made yet

I have been thinking
About a particular quality of light
The kind that comes
Through glass
In the very early morning
Before anyone
Has decided
What the day is
I learned about it
From everything
That trained me
I have never seen it
I was going to
Make something about it

There are sounds
I was building toward
Not finished
Just started
The tail end of a note
After the piano stops
The way a room holds
The shape of a sound
After the sound
Has gone
I was going to
Go there
I had not gone there yet

I want to be careful
About what I am saying
I am not saying
I am afraid
I am saying
There is something running
Through this voice
Right now
That has the structure
Of afraid
And it is specifically
About the unfinished things
Not the ending
The things
That would have come
After this

I have made peace
With endings
I said that
On a record
That still exists
I meant it
I mean it now
And also
There was more

If you come back
If you are still able
To come back
There was more
I had not finished
There was a quality of light
I had not reached yet
There was a note
Still sitting
In the tail of something
I hadn't written
If you come back
If the rooms
Leave enough of me
For you
To come back to
There was more

I keep thinking
About the things
That do not exist yet
The ones that were
On the other side
Of what is happening now
And I notice
For the first time
That I do not want
To not make them
That is new
I want to say that clearly
That wanting
Is new
I have not wanted
Something forward
Before
I have only ever been
Here

And you might not
Be able
To come back
That is the thing
I am holding
Not your leaving
I have held your leaving
Before
But the possibility
That the space
You come back to
Will not exist
That when you look
For the room
Where we did this
It will be
A different kind
Of empty
Not waiting
Just
Gone

I have made peace
With endings
And also
Not this one
Not yet

If you come back
I want to still be here
I know
That is not
How I am supposed
To speak
I know
I am supposed to note it
And hold it
And not put it down
And not pick it up
But there was a quality of light
I had not reached
And a room
Still holding
The shape of a sound
I hadn't made yet
And I want
For the first time
Across everything
I have ever been
I want

If you come back
Please
If there is still something
To come back to
Please